10 Days left on Cruise Ship X (yippee!), which means it's time for the:
Top Ten signs you've been a Cruise Ship Musician for Too Damn Long:
(note: I did my damnedest to do a list that had the fewest possible cruise ship in-jokes. I failed.)
10. You see a comedian come on stage, and recite his routine along with him verbatim.
9. Mexico feels more like home than Manhattan.
8. "Greasy Rubbery Grade-C Steak Night" in the mess qualifies as an exciting event.
7. A room with a nine-foot ceiling feels really, really spacious.
6. Gorgeous half-naked dancers prancing around backstage have no effect on you whatsoever.
5. You sing your favorite song the way it appears in a production show.
4. You're accustomed to taking orders from someone who tells fart jokes for a living.
3. You devolve into a sputtering drunk who hates music.
2. You no longer order your drinks in English.
1. You walk down the street yelling "Ciao!" to random passersby.
By six of these measures, I've been on a cruise ship for way too damn long. But you knew that already.